On January 31, 1969, Avatar Meher Baba — God in human form — dropped His physical form. Even though, in hindsight, Meher Baba had given hints to His close disciples (mandali) that He would leave His body, they were surprised and grief stricken.

This story, below, takes place soon after Meher Baba dropped His body, and the mandali were dealing with their heartache. Mani S. Irani is Meher Baba’s sister. Eruch Jessawala was one of Meher Baba’s closest disciples and served Him everyday, often as the interpreter of Baba’s hand gestures. Mehera J. Irani was Meher Baba’s closest female disciple whom He described as the purest soul in the universe.

The author, Heather Nadel, has been a resident volunteer in India since 1974 and worked closely with Meher Baba’s sister Mani. Heather wrote The Joyous Path, a two-volume set on the life of Mani, from which this story is reprinted.

By Heather Nadel

Eruch told me once that Mani was very affected by the dropping of Baba’s body, that this grief was very “deep-rooted” in her.

She was in a kind of shock; he could see it — she was distracted, struggling to cope with Mehera’s loss and her own, and with the need to adjust to the whole, unknown, wide-open, unprotected world they suddenly found themselves in, fighting fires right and left.

Eruch was worried about her. As he shared in the [Mandali] Hall:

“Well, the simple thing is that those days were days of great pain, despite what Baba had said, that “I am not this body that you see, that this is not what I am, it is just My coat I put on reality to veil reality.” But we were so used to the coat that we forgot the reality.  

“So when the coat was dropped, well, we started missing the coat, you see. We didn’t care for the substance that was being veiled by the coat.  Well, it is a human frailty; what can you say?  That’s how we are, all of us, until we are blessed by Him. We begin to miss His presence, the so-called presence of the coat.

“But we carried on, we had to do our duty, our responsibilities were there, we had to face them, not to shirk because Baba wouldn’t like it, we knew that, so we continued with our day-to-day chores.

“Soon after we returned from Meherabad after Baba’s internment, I felt somehow or other that it was not good if the women mandali were to carry on like that in their grief. It was telling too much on their mind, heart, and body.  I had experienced their grief when we were there on the [Meherabad] Hill; we were all there with His body [at His Tomb Shrine].  We were there for more than 10 days I think, twelve days all together.  

“So I noticed how it was telling upon them in all respects. When we returned here to Meherazad, the only contact I had was with Mani, Goher, Rano, and sometimes Meheru would come. I found Mani was being affected literally, and I thought, this is not good, so much responsibility is on her now.  I was thinking something must be done, should we take them out for a change, something like that? Go on an outing?  Something… something should be done now.”

Then one evening, after they had returned to Meherazad after the 1969 Darshan at Guruprasad [in Poona], Mani suddenly remembered some documents that Eruch had asked her for. As Mani tells it:

“So I hurriedly looked for the documents, found them, and walked briskly over towards Eruch’s room. I found him outside his room, and I could hear from the splashing of water that he was washing his face.  ‘Oh, Eruch,’ I said, ‘I brought the documents you wanted.’

“He didn’t say a word. He stood up, wiped his face with a towel hanging outside his cabin, and then, instead of coming towards me to take the documents, turned away and walked towards the field adjoining Meherazad.

“And he said, ‘Follow me.’

“Now what’s this queer thing Eruch is doing? Follow him?

“So I followed him, wondering what was the matter. He came to the field and stood facing it, and I stood beside him. ‘Can you hear?’ he said.

“I haven’t very sharp hearing but I heard. What I heard was a sound of sheep, restlessly calling out, ‘Baa-baa, baa-baa…’

“I realized that the shepherds had done what they often do. They leave their sheep for the night on a field, which is allowed because the sheep provide manure for the farmer who owns the land. But to protect the sheep for the night, the shepherds put a little cordon of thorny branches around them.         

‘Yes, yes, I can hear,’ I said.

‘Can you see?’ And I looked hard. I could see a bit of white here and there because the sheep were moving about, so I said, ‘Yes, I can see the sheep, they’re moving around.’

‘No, to the left! Can you see?’

“To the left? What was there to see? It’s a field!

“Then suddenly, my eyes made out a form darker than the darkness of the evening.

“And I said to myself, ‘What’s that big rock doing in the field?’ The contour of the shape was like a rock.

“Eruch said, ‘Now can you see?’

“I said yes, and then suddenly I realized. It was not a rock. It was a person. It was the shepherd sitting there, huddled with his homespun blanket over him, settled for the night, unmoving, looking straight at the sheep.

“Eruch said, ‘You see, the sheep think their shepherd has deserted them. The flock think the shepherd has gone. Because it is dark, and they can’t see him. So they call out to him, and they’re looking for him. And they are confused, and stirring about.

‘But he has his eyes on them. He sits there without moving, looking at them, looking after them. His whole attention is on them. And he will be like that through the night of darkness. When the dawn comes, they will know that their shepherd has never left them, that he was with them all the time.’

“And that! That was such a help, such a healing, such a comfort. I’ll never forget it. That too, Baba provided. It made such a difference. And I said, ‘Yes, Baba, I know You are here. And because it is dark and we cannot see You, we may feel that You have left, but You haven’t. You’re right here. And when the dawn comes, we will know that You have always been here.’

“So even when we cannot see Him, He is here.”

Source

• Heather Nadel, The Joyous Path: The Life of Avatar Meher Baba’s Sister, Mani. Volume II. (Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar Foundation) pp.814—817. ©2015 by Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust, Ahmednagar, India. Used with permission.

• Thank you to Wayne Myers for suggesting this story and photos.

Related Stories

• “Meher Baba Asked for ‘Begin the Beguine’ to Be Played When He Dropped His Body”

• Amartithi Is a Joyous Sharing of Meher Baba’s Presence

• “I Am Not This Body” — Avatar Meher Baba