Thank You for All the Joy and Pain in My Life
The following two conversations between Avatar Meher Baba and Jean Adriel are excerpted from Lord Meher. They took place when Jean was with Meher Baba in in Cannes, France, in 1937.
AVATAR MEHER BABA in Cannes, France, in 1937, traveling with His Eastern and Western disciples.
Feeling Estranged and Depressed
“Ever since leaving India, Jean Adriel felt estranged. In India she had been ill and depressed, and on board the ship to France, she was again ill and feeling unkind toward everyone.
"The cabin she shared with her husband Malcolm [Schloss] was far away from Baba and the other women, and she hardly saw anyone during the voyage.
"Jean did not know, however, that Baba would visit her cabin at 3:00 a.m. to see how she was and to watch over her as she slept.
“In Cannes, Jean became more and more depressed until, on the night of 9 October 1937, she left the house, determined to die. Baba, being ever vigilant of his ‘birds,’ noticed she was missing and sent a search party to bring her back.
“The next day, Baba took her head in His hands and looked into her eyes, asking, ‘You think I am cruel?’
“She could not prevent herself from saying what she felt, "You are cruel!"
“Baba repeated what He had said earlier, ‘I must be temporarily cruel in order to be permanently kind.’
“Looking at her with compassion He added, ‘The day will come when even the memory of this pain will be completely obliterated by the all-consuming joy which will flood your soul.’
But, the Night Is So Long
Jean wept and said, ‘But Baba, the night is so long!’
“Baba smiled and spelled out, ‘But when dawn comes, you will see that everything you are bearing now would have been worth bearing a thousand times!’
“Baba explained, ‘I push you away, then I draw you close. Again I push you off and draw you even closer. Now, I push you far away, and the next time I draw you back to me, it will be to remain one with my Universal Self forever!’
Thank You for All the Joy and Pain in My Life
On October 28, “Jean and Malcolm Schloss left for Paris by the morning bus.
“While leaving, Jean wept and said to Baba, ‘Thank you for all the joy and pain in my life I have had while with you.’
“Baba replied, ‘Thank me only for the pain.’ Jean understood what Baba meant. Only while suffering do we grow in love and through pain overcome our weaknesses and ego."
About Jean Adriel
Jean Adriel is the author of Avatar: The Life Story of the Perfect Master Avatar Meher Baba published in 1947 and a co-founder of Meher Mount in 1946. She was among a group of Eastern and Western disciples with Avatar Meher Baba in Cannes, France, in the summer and fall of 1937.
Source
Bhau Kalchuri, Lord Meher: The Biography of the Avatar of the Age Meher Baba, pp. 1876-1877 and pg. 1878. (C) Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Trust. All quotes and page numbers are from the Revised Online Edition, accessed November 5, 2021.